Floxxed
I was 35 when I had my last child, “my fourth and final installment,” as I like to call him. I was physically active, fit and healthy right up to the end of pregnancy. I prided myself on my strength - at 40 weeks pregnant I could lift an 80#
A Vision: Pencil Drawing Man in Suit 02-20-26
I have visions and dreams fairly frequently. Some of them are more memorable, and the method by which they arrive can sometimes be meaningful. Here, I am describing the process and then a vision imprinted on Feb 20, 2026. Readers may be interested in noting the timing is the morning
Curtiss, A Love Not Possible In Life
December 2020. I woke sobbing and utterly bereft from a dream that still haunts me as I write this more than five years later. The dream was of a tallish man with long blond-brown hair, sitting at a pub style table on a barstool. The joy in his face was
In the Moon Pool
I am continuing the journey with you, the journey that began over a decade ago and appears to be moving in earnest now. Toward what, I still cannot say for sure but I have an idea and time is not abundant. This happened around 2018-2019. I have always felt lonely,
City to City, A Case of Synchronicity
A brief but formative part of my life was spent with The Man in a small town in California, a town that’s been on my mind a lot lately as I worked through some healing and processed a past I thought long behind me. Lately, it came back around
A Dream: Don't Open the Urn!
I have frequent dreams, some about things to come, some integrating things that came before. I don't generally try to interpret them, trusting that the truth unfolds as it will. This one seems a bit different, as if it is a warning, and not just for me. As
Red Grid Mark Phenomenon: My Experience
During a period of almost exactly two years, I experienced twelve separate instances of a mysterious series of red grid marks on my back. As far as I know, no one has yet figured out what these are. In the groups that discuss this, users have had medical examinations and
That One Time the Plan Went Awry, AKA All the Ways I Tried to Be Done
Lately I’ve been contemplating “free will” and how it doesn’t seem to be quite as cut and dried as we might like to think. We consider ourselves masters of our domains, but in reality, free will might only apply to the minor considerations. I can choose what to
The Culmination of an Obsession
The last three months have been among the most tumultuous of my entire fairly eventful life. I would not have wished any of this on anyone, and I can’t even articulate much about it at all right now. I shared how a spontaneous and out of character Richard Marx
The Horse That Won't Stand Tied
I'll be honest - sitting still is not in my nature. Everything I've ever attained I gained through sheer force of will, which I have in spades. And right now, what's being asked of me is to do...nothing. I have about half a
What Do You Gain By Being Everyone's All?
My body is hurting. Chronic health issues are no joke. I am working with all my might to heal right now. Napping like a damn toddler because of the intensity of the healing process. I'm also excavating some of the deepest emotional wounds of my life, processing this
A Thing I Cannot Say
But do you have joy? Do you stop to admire with delight the light on raindrops on a sunny day? I am a wave arching up to meet you, dripping hands caressing your cheeks to see how it is with you and I find: a life carefully made neutral. I