The Horse That Won't Stand Tied
I'll be honest - sitting still is not in my nature. Everything I've ever attained I gained through sheer force of will, which I have in spades.
And right now, what's being asked of me is to do...nothing.
I have about half a dozen projects itching to launch that I'm just sitting on.
I built a new community in January that is sitting empty because the time is not right.
I've drawn, I don't know, dozens of tarot draws over the past couple of months that all say the same thing, no matter how I try to sidestep:
Megan, there is nothing to do now but wait.
As I was yet again struggling with this today (all day, every day, to be clear, it's exhausting fighting NOTHING), I reflected on how growing up with horses, we trained them to patience by tying them up for increasing amounts of time.
Some were fairly docile about it. Some, like Ranger, a stud I owned as a teenager, fought relentlessly, for weeks, digging ruts into the ground I could just about lie down in.
I'm Ranger right now. Standing tied, fighting with all my might, even while I know:
- Whatever is on the other side of this will be good and desirable
- The only way out is through
- I'm prolonging my own agony by resisting
Yet I cannot conceptualize what "do nothing" looks like.
I built an empire through sheer grit and refusal to back down.
Give me an enemy to battle, be it a crazy neighbor or the unmet informational needs of a goat community, and I am unstoppable.
Yet standing still is turning out to be the hardest thing I've ever done.
There's a lesson in there for all of us, I'm sure.
I'll let you know if I manage to survive this long enough to find out. 😆
Meanwhile, my head is tossing and my feet stamping and either the rope or the human is going to give out soon.
